I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the idea of being mentally tough or strong. What I realize is that people with mental toughness have an advantage over most other people. Men, as a whole, are getting soft and weak, which is bad news for them but great news for guys like you and me. Learn to control urges that most other men can’t while being tough and kicking ass in life.
Stop self-destructive impulses
- Partying — dudes that are really killing it are not the guys that are out drinking and partying. The men that are killing it are the one who understand priorities. Sure, there’s nothing wrong with having fun, but you have to be responsible.
- Having a temper — if you can’t control your emotions, you will not be in a position of power or taken seriously. Instead, control urges and think logically to gain the respect of others. Sure, you need to stand up for yourself, speak your mind, and defend yourself, but do it in a controlled manner.
- Allowing others to treat you poorly or take advantage of you — don’t be a people-pleaser. Instead, learn to say ‘no’ and stand up for yourself. David Goggins’ audiobook “Can’t Hurt Me” has resonated with me so much that I listened to it three times. He’s overcome incredible adversity to achieve amazing things with the 40 rule concept (the fact that most of us are only tapping into 40% of our potential), which blew my mind. Push past the pain and fear to achieve more and tap into more.
- Obsessing over spicy action — as men, we are hardwired to want to get freaky. It’s primal. But if you are in a committed relationship, it’s absolutely not okay to step outside of that and act. Also, if porn is affecting your relationship negatively or if you’re spending a lot of time/money in the pursuit of this, you have to get it under control. Focus on things that matter instead.
- Impulsive spending — If you’re spending more than you make or if your spending is putting yourself in a position of weakness, delay gratification. It’s all about putting off and saving. Pay off your high-interest debts or loans to be in a position of strength. Live below your means, namely with your car and where you live.
- Procrastinating — it takes less bandwidth to do it now rather than waiting to do it later because even though you’re not doing it, you know in the back of your mind that you should be doing it. These thoughts will make what you’re doing not as enjoyable as if you would just sit down and focus on getting the job done. When your brain is freed, you can enjoy yourself and do the thing you want to do.
- Staying safe and comfortable — many men don’t want to challenge themselves. They don’t want to risk failing. It’s fear of the unknown too. If you ever want to accomplish anything extraordinary, you have to be willing to be uncomfortable and push that fear down. I would rather fail than regret never trying.
Audible
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