17 Cars That Make You Look Like an Old Man

I need a new car and was thinking about what to get. There are so many cars, and I’m getting a little bit older, so I realized that many cars will make you look older than you are.

Sure, some vehicles are comfortable and reliable, but they make you look like an old man. There’s a thin line between looking cool and like an older dude trying to prove something. I want to review a list of vehicles that make you look like a geezer.

My Criteria

When I think about what car to get, I’m slightly weird because I’m not a car guy. I’ve also gone through the whole ego buying with cars with my M4 and M850i. Sure, they looked good, but I didn’t like those cars very much.  I don’t like cars that don’t have a back seat, and I have a price point of under $65,000. Also, I don’t want to look like a redneck or a lesbian.

When buying a car, realize that what you can afford is what you should be driving. My list doesn’t mean that everybody should have one. You don’t want to overextend yourself with a car trying to be cool. Whatever you can afford is the best for you as long as it’s clean and smells good.

Toyota has done an incredible job retooling its sports utility vehicles. Their trucks, such as the new Sequoia, look amazing. It’s massive and awesome, aggressive, and super sexy. Also, I want to note that any German car is likely sexier than any American car.

Here’s my list of cars that make you look like an old man. I want to know if I missed vehicles that make you look like a geezer.

Vehicles that Give Old Man Vibes

1. Buick. Any Buick is an old man’s car.
2. Electric cars. You’re not so worried about the environment or saving gas if you’re a younger dude. You want something sexy and powerful that rips and roars.
3. Minivans. They’re fantastic because they’re roomy, spacious, and very practical. But stylish dudes probably aren’t driving minivans.
4. Kia. It’s not a bad car, and they’ve come a long way, but when I think of a dad car, I think of Kia.
5. Volvo. When I see these cars, I think of old dudes in soccer moms. They’re not young and stylish.
6. Volkswagens. Some look great and are super fast, but most dudes that drive them are dads.
7. Hyundai is a brand that is not equated with young, stylish dudes. The Genesis line is amazing and beautiful, but it is definitely an old man’s big sedan.
8. Big sedans with 4th rows. These cars scream that you have a big family and need lots of room.
9. Corvette. This one screams that you’re an old dude with some extra money, your kids are finally out of the house, and your wife gave you the green light to treat yourself. These cars are old and redneck.
10. Ford. These scream old dude, except for the F-150 and F-250. These trucks are classy and masculine.
11. Toyota Corolla. If you’re a guy driving this, you’re probably a math teacher.
12. Honda Civic and Accord. These give the same vibe as the Toyota Corolla. They’re reliable and will never break down, but these are not cars that a young, stylish, attractive dude drives.
13. Chevy. Sure, some of these look good, and many SUVs look fantastic and well done. They’ve upgraded the aesthetic, but I don’t get a good vibe when I see a Chevy.
14. Range Rovers are complete shit.
15. Jaguar. They’re not doing so well. Their latest commercial is not good marketing, and whoever created it should lose their job.
16. Cadillac. Some look super badass and amazing, but the smaller SUVs are not sexy.
17. Smaller SUVs. Cars like the RAV4, the CRV, and other crossovers are math teacher-looking. They also look like 16-year-old girls’ first car.