One of my old high school friends tagged me on Facebook the other day. I was looking at the picture, and suddenly, I started thinking about the lessons I had learned over the years and what I would say to the 20-year-old me.
As a 20-year-old, I would tell myself that I would regret not taking more risks and that the pain of failure is temporary. Regret lasts a lifetime. You have to be willing to shoot your shot and do uncomfortable things.
I’d also tell my 20-year-old self that most people you’re friends with now won’t be friends with in the future. You probably won’t even remember most of them. They’re insignificant but may seem like a big part of your life at the moment. You will outgrow these people because they will hold you back if you don’t.
I’d also tell my 20-year-old self that the world rewards execution, not intention. Nobody cares about your potential; they care about results. So stop talking, partying, and wasting time because you need to set the foundation for the habits that will carry you into your 30s, 40s, and 50s.
Motivation fades, but discipline lasts a lifetime. Many people stop working hard when results don’t happen fast enough or instantaneously. They also get bored or lost and start looking for something else. So, a motivated and disciplined individual will stick with a plan and a routine, and this will win every time.
Your body will betray you if you don’t take care of it. Time moves faster than you think, and you will blink and be 30 or 40 years old.
Realize your reputation is more valuable than money, so don’t do stupid things. Your credit score also matters, so you need to protect it. You also need to learn about and understand money. Don’t be a fool.
I would also tell the 20-year-old me that nobody is responsible for your happiness. You need to take control if you want to be happy. Therapy works, and I’m a huge advocate of it. It gives you tools to scale your life. Therapy was a pivotal point in my life, and everything improved. You deserve to be happy — visit Better Help for 10% off your first month and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help you.
I would also tell my young self that comfort is the enemy of greatness. The easy road leads to mediocrity. You must be uncomfortable and willing to push yourself out of your comfort zone. When you do, magic happens. You will realize your potential not because you did what was expected or easy.
Failure is inevitable, so get that off the table. Failure is part of the process; if you’re not failing, that’s a problem. Failure is one of the greatest learning experiences you can have. Just make sure you pick yourself up and continue to move forward. Don’t stay stagnant or in self-pity. You also cannot blame others for your mistakes.
Nobody will save you, so if you want anything worthwhile in this world, you have to work for it. Don’t try to fix problems in your life by self-medicating, either. Don’t make bad decisions under the influence because you cannot go back. Make sure you take care of yourself.
Be a good person and focus on your character. Don’t give pretty people a pass. Looks fade, but a person’s character and integrity don’t. Personal packaging and presentation are essential, but nobody respects a weak man. Be strong physically, mentally, and emotionally. You can be sensitive and vulnerable without being weak.
Remember that you only have three seconds to make an unforgettable first impression, so don’t waste it. You’re never going to get it back. Being young doesn’t give you an excuse for being lazy or sloppy.
Take a second so you don’t make emotional decisions that ultimately are bad. Take a logical approach to making hard decisions and allow the data to speak for itself. Realize that the internet is full of noise that you need to filter. Most of what you see online is garbage coming from people who are not the ones getting mentorship. Just because somebody has a lot of money or looks like they have a lot of money or has a hot girlfriend doesn’t mean they know what’s right for you.
Realize that she does not expect you to be perfect—nobody does. You need to work on being the best version of yourself. When you fall, get yourself back up. Where you want to be right now, you’ll get there if you keep working.
