Do you feel like you’re behind in life? Do you look around and feel like you’re missing out – people are getting engaged and married, getting promotions at work, starting new lives, getting into relationships, or traveling around the world?
People around you look successful and happy, and you feel like you’re wasting your life. Here’s the problem. Never compare yourself to others. We all have different paths, and comparison is the thief of joy.
Stop looking at where everyone else is, as it’s irrelevant to you. Life isn’t a competition. Further, you don’t know everything that happens behind closed doors. Those you think are successful may have dark secrets and be complete messes. If you need to compare yourself to anyone, compare yourself to the person you were yesterday, a month, or a year ago. You will reach your goals as long as you’re improving and heading in the right direction.
Life is full of ups and downs. Downward spirals can reverse into growth and improvements, and upward trajectories can nosedive into regression and challenging times. Focusing on yourself and your future is essential, not on others (especially those curating their presentation on social media). With those around you, you have no idea what’s going on behind the scenes.
If you’re looking at others’ lives and getting disappointed in your own, stop as soon as possible. Many people only boast about their wins and don’t reveal their losses. Set goals and prioritize what’s important to you. You will attain what you want and need if you do what’s necessary to make them attainable.
Everyone has their own path and timeline. We don’t live in a time when people were getting married at 20, having kids, and finding a job to stay at until retirement. That’s all antiquated. That blueprint has changed, and we don’t have to navigate the same path as previous generations — step outside of that blueprint of going to school, getting a job, getting married, and having kids. Instead, discover the person you are inside.
Be comfortable with yourself and become productive in your personal and professional relationships. Creating your own path demonstrates a unique, personal, and individual way of navigating life. Life is written one word at a time, one sentence at a time, and a defined outline is unnecessary. If your ultimate goal is happiness and fulfillment, life will unfold as it should, and you will find where you need to be.
Knowing yourself is imperative because if you don’t, you’ll have to rely on others and external forces, which most likely have nothing to do with you or your purpose. Think of an unfinished building—it needs to be completed. Still, bricks from other buildings are not much help because they’re not likely compatible with yours.
In terms of knowing yourself, what is your dream? What makes you happy? What gives your life special meaning and value? Focus on these, but know it’s expected to be unsure as times change. Life changes whether we want it to or not.
If you are unhappy with your life, start making some changes. Where do you want to be in 5 years? Start making those changes today to reach your 5-year goal. Want to improve your mood? Get better sleep, consistent exercise and nutrition, and get outdoors. If you want to meet a romantic partner, make an effort. Use dating apps, take some classes in a subject you’re interested in, join a fitness class, and more. If you are not getting better job opportunities, start seeking education or vocational training to gain experience and knowledge in a more employable skill.
Start taking small steps toward your dreams, happiness, and goals. Every step taken relieves anxiety, and conversely, every moment procrastinated builds anxiety. Completing a step will ease your mind, providing an immediate and long-lasting benefit.
If you are still feeling lost, start writing lists. Don’t make the list a timetable, though. Just be diligent in working towards your goals. Here’s how: write a list of the top 5 qualities that you admire in others. Using that list as inspiration, write another list of the work tasks involved in becoming someone you admire. That becomes ‘today’s task list.’ Complete those two lists every morning, and eventually, momentum, fueled by your own inspiration, will gather.
The questions are whether you are interested in self-analysis, education, expanding your worldview, and generally becoming a better, more advanced, more adapted, more complex being and whether you will allocate time for such development. We all come into our own in due time. But comparing ourselves to others as a form of benchmarking is counterproductive. It will not get you to where you want to be.
